Some of the most Sage descriptions of Baa
Recently, I had the privilege of attending the 95th birthday party of an extended family member. Known to all as Baa, the name given by the first grandchild, he is one of the last father figures remaining in my life and a person I admire greatly. Born on Veterans Day in 1930, he was a naval aviator, is a published author, a magnificent keeper of gardens, an OG girl dad and the type of grandpa you just like to sit quietly nearby and do whatever he is doing.
He is a person I’ve never seen be irritated, lose his temper, express a moment of woe is me or dramatically perseverate on the state of the world. I’m sure he does those things from time to time, but certainly far outside the view of many of those closest to him, and probably not for long.
The grown daughters of this OG girl-dad threw him a birthday lunch. In preparation for it, they asked extended family and friends to share at least five things they love about him. When the idea was launched, the thought of getting 95 items seemed daunting. By the time lunch came around, the number was up to 140 and had to be cut down. During the meal a bowl was passed around with fortune cookie-sized slips of paper with one of the 95 tributes written on it which guests took turns reading. Even with nearly 50 removed for repetition or confusion, major themes were repeated.
Baa was described repeatedly by his friends, spouse, children and grandchildren as kind, full of life. As a person who looks out for others. As a person who never stops being curious about everything. Who smiles with his whole face. In his lifetime he witnessed the Great Depression, World War II, the Nixon era, many recessions, 9-11, family struggles, loss of friends and now, slowly, loss of memory. He remains peaceful, curious, delighted at the smallest of things. He greets each day with a song in the shower. Up at his former vacation home, he was known to take the bus to the coffee shop every morning where he’d sit and chat with neighbors as the day began. The vacations have stopped for the most part, causing the bus driver to knock on the door to see if he was ok. He is, his daughter told him. He now just chats with whomever stops by to chat in the lobby of the senior community.
He is the epitome of what we call living in Sage. He is not easily hijacked by fear, anxiety, resentment, frustration, shame, blame, denial. He takes the long view, which at 95 has surely paid off.
I’ve come to realize that in my work over the last few years, I’ve been trying to help people be more like him. To capture that secret magic that makes him love the world no matter what it puts in front of him. The curiosity to keep learning about people and sharing what he knows. That unconditional love he has for everyone around him that makes them feel safe and comforted in his presence – even if today he doesn’t remember your name or exactly how you are related. No matter, he’s happy to see you, happy to be alive. Living like this is the key to living well.
For this, my November blog, I am grateful to have Baa in my life, and grateful for my work that helps me grow more like him and help others do the same.
What I’m Consuming
Podcast
Unicorn Girl
This new genre of female scam artists exposed by social media has me somewhat hooked. Alarming and distressing, yet weirdly showing the incredible power of a determined woman. This is the podcast equivalent of a page turner. Unicorn Girl: from soccer Mom, to trafficking activist to um, seal team in Dubai. Whut?
Books
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
by Mark Twain
Every now and then it’s so valuable to go back to a classic. Not sure when I read this in high school, or if I only read the Cliff Notes (Totally possible). But it was on my shelf and I pulled it down and it’s nice to have a real paperback in my hands with some brilliant writing. I hope to follow-up by reading the recent novel James, by Percival Everett. A re-telling of the story from the perspective of Huck's travelling partner the enslaved Jim.
What’s Up at StepOne
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